I feel like I sit on this well of tears flowing through me. Each time I consciously and energetically open up my heart, a wave of grief is surfacing. So many tears. Many more tears than I could have collected in this lifetime in a bowl that is as small or big as the one I call my life. More like I am a channel for the suppressed grief of my mother and father, my grandmothers and grandfathers, my lineage, women, men, this Earth.
As if the MOTHER archetype is crying in me. The one, who, when I asked "What should I do in this world?" answers: You should just love me very much.
Yes, I feel how I am held and supported and nourished constantly by great mother Earth. Not a single moment when she lets me fall. Every breath I take is a reminder of her (seemingly) limitless capacity to care for me.
I am mother Earth's child. And I do so much love my mother. This great mother, who is the mother of my mother and all my lineage, of all women, all men, all living beings, the one who holds us all. With endless generosity and unconditional love.
Waters flowing and purifying. Soil regenerating and nourishing. Rocks stabilizing and woods sheltering. Plants feeding and healing. There is everything we need, as a gift, given. Without anything asked for in return, except: Love, care, reverence, attention.
What hurts me is the immaturity of all of us, the parts within that immaturely take things for granted, and think they can behave and treat their mother as they want.
I get angry, if I allow it. Mother Earth's anger through me. And yes, she turns into the death mother as well, wounding her children. Just like we hurt and exploit her.
To come into her light, THE MOTHER archetype needs to become aware of her own needs and know that her needs matter, that she has boundaries and that she can only care for others when her own cup is full. There's a mother in me.
What does it mean to "put on my own oxygen mask first", as Tanya Lynn advices the mother? What does it mean to act on behalf of Mother Earth?
It means to protect the trees.
To rebel against peoples ignorance and to shake them awake so their focus gets shifted from their own neediness to the needs of others and the whole, the needs of MOTHER Earth.
And how do I shake them?
By my own love. By my joy of life. By beauty.
Let each of my songs be a shout-out how much I love this mother Earth. Let my life be a celebration, an exploration, a deepening and ripening into that love.
In any moment I forget, let the well of tears tear me apart, open me, so I can receive again and feel my bone-deep love and care.
Grief, wake me up, so I can feel my care.
Make me aware.