There is a form of silence, which is characterized by the absence of something that actually wants or needs to manifest as sound. Something that wants or needs to be said, verbalized, sung, put into sound. Silence in this case can only persist because there is some kind of obstacle, a dam, a blockage of the sound-impulse that’s actually there. This form of silence for me has qualities like coldness, emptiness, density, weight, pressure. It can literally be hard to bear - and often it is hard, hard like stone, seemingly unbreakable. Like a family secret over generations or a collective taboo, or a denied and suppressed feeling like grief or anger, or a neglected need or a boundary that is not named.
On the other hand, there is a form of silence that is characterized by the presence of something - a silence that includes and transcends sounds which have been there or still are there. It is the presence of those who attentively listen to the silence, which makes it rich and abundant. It is the silence after the song, after the final note, after the words that have been said, in which the sounds keep vibrating even though ears can’t hear them anymore, in which bodies still vibrate and communicate in the silence, and feelings and thoughts settle and integrate into this silence, which knows how to embrace it all. It is a receptive silence, ready to receive what is, and ready to receive from a dimension beyond. A nurturing silence, that reconnects us with our source and each other. A silence that awaits and invites new forms and creations and expressions, a silence that sings of aliveness and lets us settle into peacefulness, a silence that lets us trust.
I wish to transform the first form of silence into the latter, more and more. By meeting the ‘hard’ silence and inviting it to tell it’s true story. By witnessing all that’s in the way. By integrating and unfolding the potential that’s been hiding in the hard silence. So we can finally melt into the silence after the sound that was necessary to express. And learn to trust our expression with each time we allow it.