It is a hot day, 30 degrees or more, and I started my walk quite late as I enjoyed the morning sitting at the river, breathing in the fog that was drifting above the water.
Later I stopped at a beautiful waterfall – but headed on soon, as I felt time pressure. I had made a plan for the day, a distance I wanted to walk and a goal I wanted to reach.
There was little shadow on the way and small sweat waterfalls ran down my back and legs.
The biggest waterfall in Slovenia was a dissappointment – I climbed stairs for half an hour just to end at a tiny platform far away from the water, crowded with tourists. A bit further on, what used to be a big river is dried out.
Exhausted and in a feeling of sadness, frustration and hurry I walked on.
After a small village I could here the murmurs of the Soca again, but there was no path down to the river. For the next 2 hours I walked along the river, but on a path above, so I could not even see her.
I looked ahead:
I looked back:
I got more and more frustrated and WANTED to end this path soon. So I walked faster, and exhausted myself even more.
I know this tendency in me: I start to (not) want something, and this wanting leads to a pushing and forcing myself (or others) through the situation. I keep pushing even when I’m exhausted and my body and mind ask for a rest. Even if there is no need to hurry, no outer pressure. I can’t believe I will get what I want if I take a break and rest.
Until I have to give up.
A hey bed on the side of the path invited me. Just come, lay down, stop doing, just let yourself be for a moment. Notice the silence. The warm wind. Butterflies. Clouds.
I fell half asleep immediately, in my dream speaking with the tree above me and the ground beneath me.
Waking up I understood: You can’t get what you want before it’s ripe. And the time needed for ripening is beyond your control, is not subject of your will.
And I saw the miracle of the female body, in which a ripening happens every month, in its own secret rhythm. Once it’s ripe (whatever it is you want: a fertile egg, or an event to happen, a person to meet, a decision to take) – the feminine power still does not come from wanting and reaching for it. These strategies don’t work to reap what’s ripe.
The feminine equivalent for willpower is conscious invitation.
Inviting that what is ripened, inviting it even deeper into you, so it can settle there and grow to its full form – nourished by your intention and awareness, held and protected in the softness of your center.
Softening and opening up for that which you wish to manifest in your life.
It’s a very different quality to the goal-orientation we immediately associate with wanting something.
I consciously chose to walk and explore the feminine path here. Yes, at some point I need to reach my destination of the day. But the destination could well be the hey bed and the conversation with a tree which brings a meaningful insight for my further path as a woman.